It was a wild disco night. Drunk people were dancing away to the loud peppy music of the DJ. The disco lights were making wild patterns on the floor. They were both at opposite ends of the disco. But they both had the same strong feeling that someone special was across the floor. So they left their respective partners and gravitated towards the centre of the floor. And then it happened. Sometimes you just know that it has happened. As they stared into each other's eyes, there was the brilliant spark of realization that they had waited for this moment forever. This was it. This was the person. Without a single word, they locked hands and walked away... forever!
Friday, 19 June 2009
Tuesday, 16 June 2009
cafe city centre
He walked in to the coffee shop in the middle of the city. Wow! he thought, this place is so nice. He was grateful that cities have these pockets right in their over crowded centre where either the government decided to own it or the wonderful owner was not lured by the money that real estate was going to fetch him and decided to keep serving good old fashioned coffee in chipped china and with waiters who seemed like they hadn't had a bath in a few years. But the sheer amount of open space made the place seem like heaven amidst all the noise, pollution and congestion. Even people on the road seemed like intruders; there were just so many of them on the roads just like animals, cars and dirt and grime. The beggars made it worse. And at night, the pimps and hookers made it colourful. But the cool shade of the large banyan tree right in the middle of the open air cafe brought a huge smile on his face; he had chosen the rendezvous point right.
He was there for an interview. Interview of a person of some stature. Nothing huge or fancy about her, but she was a winner in her own right. She had, to put it simply, stood the test of time. Her novels never reached the NY bestsellers list, but that did not deter her from pouring out the travails of a woman in India. She wrote novel after novel, highlighting the good and bad things (more bad things) that happened to women in India. And finally the recognition was hers. The local government had recognized at her old age, the contribution she had made to the womens' rights particularly and modern literature in general. And she chose to express herself in English, a language not her native and definitely not the native of the women she highlighted in her work.
Why does she write in English, he wondered? It simply made her inaccessible to a vast audience that would have resonated with the way she felt and what she conveyed in her books. May be she never intended to reach them, may be she never thought of it as women's rights but looked at the whole issue with an indifference and only chose it because there were enough case studies around for her to easily make stories out of them. May be she was not creative at all; as is expected from most writers of books; may be she was just a special kind of reporter. Worse still, may be she never sympathaised with the women she wrote about; they probably meant nothing to her. She could may be write about cockroaches or global warming in the same way that she did about the oppressed women. And because someone who felt about oppression read her novel, they decided to make her a person who stood for all of this; womens' rights and all. May be she is like some of the people who can be branded as "cooling-glass-liberal". This he thought would be the ideal thing to speak about.
He was there for an interview. Interview of a person of some stature. Nothing huge or fancy about her, but she was a winner in her own right. She had, to put it simply, stood the test of time. Her novels never reached the NY bestsellers list, but that did not deter her from pouring out the travails of a woman in India. She wrote novel after novel, highlighting the good and bad things (more bad things) that happened to women in India. And finally the recognition was hers. The local government had recognized at her old age, the contribution she had made to the womens' rights particularly and modern literature in general. And she chose to express herself in English, a language not her native and definitely not the native of the women she highlighted in her work.
Why does she write in English, he wondered? It simply made her inaccessible to a vast audience that would have resonated with the way she felt and what she conveyed in her books. May be she never intended to reach them, may be she never thought of it as women's rights but looked at the whole issue with an indifference and only chose it because there were enough case studies around for her to easily make stories out of them. May be she was not creative at all; as is expected from most writers of books; may be she was just a special kind of reporter. Worse still, may be she never sympathaised with the women she wrote about; they probably meant nothing to her. She could may be write about cockroaches or global warming in the same way that she did about the oppressed women. And because someone who felt about oppression read her novel, they decided to make her a person who stood for all of this; womens' rights and all. May be she is like some of the people who can be branded as "cooling-glass-liberal". This he thought would be the ideal thing to speak about.
the fiction series
I am starting a series of articles that will be labeled "fiction". It is a series of articles depicting various types of people I have met. Incidents I have heard of and discussed. But they are all changed beyond recoginition. So do not bother trying to find out who it is based on
Monday, 15 June 2009
independence
Bitch and I were drunk; not the usual high, but the rare occasion where I am out of my mind. Completely gone :) and we were on an old fashioned swing, sitting cross-legged across each other and asking babu to swing us back and forth, back and forth. The alcohol when you swing, makes you wilder and madder.
And after all the how important we are to each other and how we never find enough time for each other, we spoke about a very serious thing; I wonder how we managed in our drunken stupor. But we did and it was very important a topic. It was that of independence. Not in terms of constitutional rights but independence in a relationship.
Love binds us to the person we love; more so when such love is romantic and it is expected that we depend on the person we love. This is in contradiction to what a lot of people strive for and stand for: the fact that they are strong-willed independent individuals; that they can sort out their own issues, bend their will they way they want to come up with incredible things; to pull themselves up on their own when they are feeling down; to never cry or breakdown and so on and so forth. In some ways, independent people build a fortress around themselves so that internal struggle can never be seen. But is that something that will let you be what your lover wants you to be. Love is often described as two bodies-one soul, of being able to read each other's mind and just know what to do, to let go and trust completely; and sometimes in an obvious way. Independent people can love and can love very deeply; but it does not show always. They have a wall around them, and their character does not let them bare it all, not even to their most loved ones. And that often causes a lot of angst and frustration.
There is no solution to this, no right and wrong; but my take is that there is an immense satisfaction in the fact that you can depend on someone so much that you can let go of something that you have stood for so long; may be that is why they say love makes you so humble. To every independent person; I say let go of it my man and give in.
P.S. This independent tendency is more with men than with women. That is just my observation.
And after all the how important we are to each other and how we never find enough time for each other, we spoke about a very serious thing; I wonder how we managed in our drunken stupor. But we did and it was very important a topic. It was that of independence. Not in terms of constitutional rights but independence in a relationship.
Love binds us to the person we love; more so when such love is romantic and it is expected that we depend on the person we love. This is in contradiction to what a lot of people strive for and stand for: the fact that they are strong-willed independent individuals; that they can sort out their own issues, bend their will they way they want to come up with incredible things; to pull themselves up on their own when they are feeling down; to never cry or breakdown and so on and so forth. In some ways, independent people build a fortress around themselves so that internal struggle can never be seen. But is that something that will let you be what your lover wants you to be. Love is often described as two bodies-one soul, of being able to read each other's mind and just know what to do, to let go and trust completely; and sometimes in an obvious way. Independent people can love and can love very deeply; but it does not show always. They have a wall around them, and their character does not let them bare it all, not even to their most loved ones. And that often causes a lot of angst and frustration.
There is no solution to this, no right and wrong; but my take is that there is an immense satisfaction in the fact that you can depend on someone so much that you can let go of something that you have stood for so long; may be that is why they say love makes you so humble. To every independent person; I say let go of it my man and give in.
P.S. This independent tendency is more with men than with women. That is just my observation.
Tuesday, 9 June 2009
of what is really wrong
I was wondering in office of why I feel like loser these days; loser is a strong word and I do not normally use it for anyone let alone myself; but the whole bloody point is that I have begun to feel like that for sometime now. And it is not even that I am doing loserly things or loserly things are happening but I feel like one just the same!
And then as I thought about what I have become, I realized why. May be the analysis is wrong but I think I have it right. Here goes why:
I have always been an achiever; I did well right through school and college; I was the apple of everyone's eye, especially the grown ups. There was a lot of respect as I stood for something. All this happened because I always wanted to be different from the rest, a cut better, a mile ahead and an hour earlier. And added with the fact that things had to be perfect in all that I did, I think I managed to stand out pretty well. This was till college (read BE).
Then came the MBA days; the days when I craved for anonymity. I wanted to be one in the crowd, an ordinary guy with no great ambition; just doing enough to stay afloat. And because of this I missed a lot of opportunities. But it was not something that I minded so much at that point in time. Nor do I mind it now.
But being one in the crowd is not me; it is so against the kind of person I am, the things I stand for. I have always stood out; by achieving something that others thought or found difficult. And that gave me my kick, the motivation to do good and bold and great things. That is the real me and I miss being that; especially since that I am an under-paid under-utilized business analyst on a loser floor with even more loser colleagues.
And if I need to be happy and true to myself, I will need to get back to doing things that will surely set me apart; make me something that people will be in awe of and that is when I think all the disgruntlement with life will settle down.
Yeah baby, I know what is wrong and I think I now have a solution to the problem that I have faced so often in the past 4 years, what is it that I really want to do! Amen!
And then as I thought about what I have become, I realized why. May be the analysis is wrong but I think I have it right. Here goes why:
I have always been an achiever; I did well right through school and college; I was the apple of everyone's eye, especially the grown ups. There was a lot of respect as I stood for something. All this happened because I always wanted to be different from the rest, a cut better, a mile ahead and an hour earlier. And added with the fact that things had to be perfect in all that I did, I think I managed to stand out pretty well. This was till college (read BE).
Then came the MBA days; the days when I craved for anonymity. I wanted to be one in the crowd, an ordinary guy with no great ambition; just doing enough to stay afloat. And because of this I missed a lot of opportunities. But it was not something that I minded so much at that point in time. Nor do I mind it now.
But being one in the crowd is not me; it is so against the kind of person I am, the things I stand for. I have always stood out; by achieving something that others thought or found difficult. And that gave me my kick, the motivation to do good and bold and great things. That is the real me and I miss being that; especially since that I am an under-paid under-utilized business analyst on a loser floor with even more loser colleagues.
And if I need to be happy and true to myself, I will need to get back to doing things that will surely set me apart; make me something that people will be in awe of and that is when I think all the disgruntlement with life will settle down.
Yeah baby, I know what is wrong and I think I now have a solution to the problem that I have faced so often in the past 4 years, what is it that I really want to do! Amen!
Thursday, 4 June 2009
Me bitch and babu; of why i love them
It is best read from below to top; i had fun when the emails were exchanged :)
Pilan for you 3: chiti chiti bang bang! J
Me: Directorial debut
But seriously what do we do?
From: Me [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 4:24 PM
To: Babu@reddygaru.com; Bitch@bitch’s companyWORESHT!
Whatay nonsense u baays is speaking….
Now what is the plan?
From: Babu [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 4:19 PM
To: 'Bitch'; Me
Jabless –One stone killed of so many baards ra. Goog one!
I choose not to do it actually. So chumma writing code whenever I want to J
From: Bitch [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 4:08 PM
To: Babu; Me
Thu jabless mins go give off kaas ra??
From: Babu [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 4:03 PM
To: Me; Bitch
Bleedi whaatay, are we bucking now or we do a sudden arrival there and surprise the shat out of them ?
Gilmore grrls=Ragil
P.S I have no work :P
From: Me [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 4:02 PM
To: Babu@reddygaru.com; Bitch@bitch’s company
You will get close-up shots da…. Full graphic
From: Babu [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 3:51 PM
To: Me; Bitch@bitch’s company
Bleedi where the yell will I go? :)
From: Me [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 3:43 PM
To: Bitch@bitch’s company; Babu@reddygaru.com
Otherwise ur car only :P
From: Bitch [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 3:42 PM
To: Me; Babu@reddygaru.com
That we’ll think of laterss…. These peepals don’t seem to have too much bujiness anyway!
From: Me [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 3:41 PM
To: Bitch; Babu@reddygaru.com
What if they don’t let us off baby?
From: Bitch [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 3:40 PM
To: Me; Babu@reddygaru.com
Yes its close to my heart ….but when will I go and pay??
I’ll leave at 9…and tomorrow also!! So besht we’ll just go off on Saturday and check in!
From: Me [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 3:37 PM
To: Bitch; Babu@reddygaru.com
What ra!
Ulsoor is close to you.
Go off and pay no?
From: Bitch [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 3:36 PM
To: Babu; Me
These fellows are saying they want some advance it sims!!
Bledi…aphice is in ulsoor! Wat to do now?
I told them we cant go and pay….any other options?
From: Babu [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 2:55 PM
To: Bitch; Me
Eh gil air and all you not tear ra. Hall ready you getting so bold and all J
Book off this!!!
Woodrichu
From: Bitch [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 2:47 PM
To: Babu; Me
Woodrich boys are saying 1200 per head for stay, lunch, dinner and breakfast!!
But ees ofter the airports!! Wat do?
From: Me [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 1:05 PM
To: Babu@reddygaru.com; Bitch@bitch’s company
Baby
Reply off da!
Or it is this sideof town
From: Babu [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 12:39 PM
To: Me; Bitch@bitch’s company
Shall we go to Kunita buddhiranis house and ask for some mahney- Self dev fund? J
Bleedi where are all those resorts?. Shall we go to Taj Kutteram? :P
From: Me [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 12:31 PM
To: Babu@reddygaru.com; Bitch@bitch’s company
There is cilub cabbana…
From: Babu [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 12:20 PM
To: 'Bitch'; Me
Bais,
Nat at all finding places this Helyenka side! Share off your valuable suggestions.
From: Bitch [mailto]
Sent: Tuesday, June 02, 2009 3:06 PM
To: Babu; Me
Which hunkill you are talking about ra bledi beedi?
From: Babu [mailto]
Sent: Tuesday, June 02, 2009 3:00 PM
To: Me; Bitch
Google for elim resorts :)
Try calling that holiday village also :)
That bleedi hunkill has been acting like a damager, simpleeee talkin !!!
From: Me [mailto]
Sent: Tuesday, June 02, 2009 3:01 PM
To: Babu@reddygaru.com; Bitch@bitch’s company
Send number…..
I will call and fix it….
From: Babu [mailto]
Sent: Tuesday, June 02, 2009 2:54 PM
To: Me; Bitch@bitch’s company
Oh drunk curds, I fought off with that guy ra :)
From: Me [mailto]
Sent: Tuesday, June 02, 2009 2:48 PM
To: Bitch@bitch’s company; Babu@reddygaru.com
Bibekaaa dahlin! Pleaje book off same place.
From: Bitch [mailto]
Sent: Tuesday, June 02, 2009 2:45 PM
To: Me; Babu@reddygaru.com
Wok! Just you put one plan and tell me – I will let you know if there is any place!
From: Bitch [mailto]
Sent: Tuesday, June 02, 2009 2:29 PM
To: Me; Babu@reddygaru.com
2.5k overall mins?? everything a?
Each wont have to spend 3-4 k ya!
From: Me [mailto]
Sent: Tuesday, June 02, 2009 1:59 PM
To: Babu@reddygaru.com; Bitch
It was 2.5 k overall da! I think that is enough…. I don’t want to ispend off some 3-4k each of us…
From: Babu [mailto]
Sent: Tuesday, June 02, 2009 1:51 PM
To: 'Bitch'; Me
That it was 2.5 k
From: Bitch [mailto]
Sent: Tuesday, June 02, 2009 1:38 PM
To: Babu; Me
Just you ppls telling me how much this old place was on kanakfur! There are places on bannerghatta road and hosur road!
These places are be some 2-3 k!! wok wa?
From: Babu [mailto]
Sent: Tuesday, June 02, 2009 12:45 PM
To: Me; Bitch
Grrls,
BTW grrls is now a word which actually means high maintenance girls.. So good going you three J
Bleedi ungil whatay not calling wonly. Waste only.
This need not be on Kanakapura road actually, so suggestions if you give off means I booking!!
From: Me [mailto]
Sent: Tuesday, June 02, 2009 12:40 PM
To: Babu@reddygaru.com; Bitch@bitch’s company
Baay and grrrl.
Wassup?
Baby, holiday village is families only…..
Babu book off something no, quickly?
From: Babu [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, May 28, 2009 4:55 PM
To: Me; Bitch@bitch’s company
What a waste this gil is !!!
And gil is punju! lol
From: Me [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, May 28, 2009 4:53 PM
To: Babu@reddygaru.com; Bitch@bitch’s company
Bitch, tell da!
Am so waiting for you!
From: Babu [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, May 28, 2009 4:48 PM
To: Me; Bitch@bitch’s company
Ok P*******E
So I shall book of?
From: Me [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, May 28, 2009 4:35 PM
To: Babu@reddygaru.com; Bitch@bitch’s company
U will always be the p**p :P
From: Babu [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, May 28, 2009 4:30 PM
To: Me; Bitch@bitch’s company
For clarity sakes: Threesome mins swa, srin and gil!
Cam work: VD
From: Me [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, May 28, 2009 4:27 PM
To: Bitch@bitch’s company; Babu@reddygaru.com
We will go, get drunk make noise and leave in the morning J
Songs good no?
From: Bitch [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, May 28, 2009 4:17 PM
To: Babu
Cc: Me
Ayee naansense baai!!
Someone please tells me the yagenda…wat we are going to do?
Byaby you can mail me sefaratey shy mins!
From: Babu [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, May 28, 2009 3:25 PM
To: Bitch
Cc: MeGrrls,
Please confirm off bleedi asap Ragil, so that I can book off.
Swaroop please do the needful with your keep!
Alls are expecting.. lol
Pilan for you 3: chiti chiti bang bang! J
Me: Directorial debut
But seriously what do we do?
From: Me [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 4:24 PM
To: Babu@reddygaru.com; Bitch@bitch’s companyWORESHT!
Whatay nonsense u baays is speaking….
Now what is the plan?
From: Babu [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 4:19 PM
To: 'Bitch'; Me
Jabless –One stone killed of so many baards ra. Goog one!
I choose not to do it actually. So chumma writing code whenever I want to J
From: Bitch [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 4:08 PM
To: Babu; Me
Thu jabless mins go give off kaas ra??
From: Babu [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 4:03 PM
To: Me; Bitch
Bleedi whaatay, are we bucking now or we do a sudden arrival there and surprise the shat out of them ?
Gilmore grrls=Ragil
P.S I have no work :P
From: Me [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 4:02 PM
To: Babu@reddygaru.com; Bitch@bitch’s company
You will get close-up shots da…. Full graphic
From: Babu [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 3:51 PM
To: Me; Bitch@bitch’s company
Bleedi where the yell will I go? :)
From: Me [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 3:43 PM
To: Bitch@bitch’s company; Babu@reddygaru.com
Otherwise ur car only :P
From: Bitch [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 3:42 PM
To: Me; Babu@reddygaru.com
That we’ll think of laterss…. These peepals don’t seem to have too much bujiness anyway!
From: Me [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 3:41 PM
To: Bitch; Babu@reddygaru.com
What if they don’t let us off baby?
From: Bitch [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 3:40 PM
To: Me; Babu@reddygaru.com
Yes its close to my heart ….but when will I go and pay??
I’ll leave at 9…and tomorrow also!! So besht we’ll just go off on Saturday and check in!
From: Me [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 3:37 PM
To: Bitch; Babu@reddygaru.com
What ra!
Ulsoor is close to you.
Go off and pay no?
From: Bitch [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 3:36 PM
To: Babu; Me
These fellows are saying they want some advance it sims!!
Bledi…aphice is in ulsoor! Wat to do now?
I told them we cant go and pay….any other options?
From: Babu [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 2:55 PM
To: Bitch; Me
Eh gil air and all you not tear ra. Hall ready you getting so bold and all J
Book off this!!!
Woodrichu
From: Bitch [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 2:47 PM
To: Babu; Me
Woodrich boys are saying 1200 per head for stay, lunch, dinner and breakfast!!
But ees ofter the airports!! Wat do?
From: Me [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 1:05 PM
To: Babu@reddygaru.com; Bitch@bitch’s company
Baby
Reply off da!
Or it is this sideof town
From: Babu [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 12:39 PM
To: Me; Bitch@bitch’s company
Shall we go to Kunita buddhiranis house and ask for some mahney- Self dev fund? J
Bleedi where are all those resorts?. Shall we go to Taj Kutteram? :P
From: Me [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 12:31 PM
To: Babu@reddygaru.com; Bitch@bitch’s company
There is cilub cabbana…
From: Babu [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, June 04, 2009 12:20 PM
To: 'Bitch'; Me
Bais,
Nat at all finding places this Helyenka side! Share off your valuable suggestions.
From: Bitch [mailto]
Sent: Tuesday, June 02, 2009 3:06 PM
To: Babu; Me
Which hunkill you are talking about ra bledi beedi?
From: Babu [mailto]
Sent: Tuesday, June 02, 2009 3:00 PM
To: Me; Bitch
Google for elim resorts :)
Try calling that holiday village also :)
That bleedi hunkill has been acting like a damager, simpleeee talkin !!!
From: Me [mailto]
Sent: Tuesday, June 02, 2009 3:01 PM
To: Babu@reddygaru.com; Bitch@bitch’s company
Send number…..
I will call and fix it….
From: Babu [mailto]
Sent: Tuesday, June 02, 2009 2:54 PM
To: Me; Bitch@bitch’s company
Oh drunk curds, I fought off with that guy ra :)
From: Me [mailto]
Sent: Tuesday, June 02, 2009 2:48 PM
To: Bitch@bitch’s company; Babu@reddygaru.com
Bibekaaa dahlin! Pleaje book off same place.
From: Bitch [mailto]
Sent: Tuesday, June 02, 2009 2:45 PM
To: Me; Babu@reddygaru.com
Wok! Just you put one plan and tell me – I will let you know if there is any place!
From: Bitch [mailto]
Sent: Tuesday, June 02, 2009 2:29 PM
To: Me; Babu@reddygaru.com
2.5k overall mins?? everything a?
Each wont have to spend 3-4 k ya!
From: Me [mailto]
Sent: Tuesday, June 02, 2009 1:59 PM
To: Babu@reddygaru.com; Bitch
It was 2.5 k overall da! I think that is enough…. I don’t want to ispend off some 3-4k each of us…
From: Babu [mailto]
Sent: Tuesday, June 02, 2009 1:51 PM
To: 'Bitch'; Me
That it was 2.5 k
From: Bitch [mailto]
Sent: Tuesday, June 02, 2009 1:38 PM
To: Babu; Me
Just you ppls telling me how much this old place was on kanakfur! There are places on bannerghatta road and hosur road!
These places are be some 2-3 k!! wok wa?
From: Babu [mailto]
Sent: Tuesday, June 02, 2009 12:45 PM
To: Me; Bitch
Grrls,
BTW grrls is now a word which actually means high maintenance girls.. So good going you three J
Bleedi ungil whatay not calling wonly. Waste only.
This need not be on Kanakapura road actually, so suggestions if you give off means I booking!!
From: Me [mailto]
Sent: Tuesday, June 02, 2009 12:40 PM
To: Babu@reddygaru.com; Bitch@bitch’s company
Baay and grrrl.
Wassup?
Baby, holiday village is families only…..
Babu book off something no, quickly?
From: Babu [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, May 28, 2009 4:55 PM
To: Me; Bitch@bitch’s company
What a waste this gil is !!!
And gil is punju! lol
From: Me [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, May 28, 2009 4:53 PM
To: Babu@reddygaru.com; Bitch@bitch’s company
Bitch, tell da!
Am so waiting for you!
From: Babu [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, May 28, 2009 4:48 PM
To: Me; Bitch@bitch’s company
Ok P*******E
So I shall book of?
From: Me [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, May 28, 2009 4:35 PM
To: Babu@reddygaru.com; Bitch@bitch’s company
U will always be the p**p :P
From: Babu [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, May 28, 2009 4:30 PM
To: Me; Bitch@bitch’s company
For clarity sakes: Threesome mins swa, srin and gil!
Cam work: VD
From: Me [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, May 28, 2009 4:27 PM
To: Bitch@bitch’s company; Babu@reddygaru.com
We will go, get drunk make noise and leave in the morning J
Songs good no?
From: Bitch [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, May 28, 2009 4:17 PM
To: Babu
Cc: Me
Ayee naansense baai!!
Someone please tells me the yagenda…wat we are going to do?
Byaby you can mail me sefaratey shy mins!
From: Babu [mailto]
Sent: Thursday, May 28, 2009 3:25 PM
To: Bitch
Cc: MeGrrls,
Please confirm off bleedi asap Ragil, so that I can book off.
Swaroop please do the needful with your keep!
Alls are expecting.. lol
the bag repair lady
This happened a few months ago, may be 1 month ago, am not too sure; but I will remember it for a long time to come. Why I am going to remember it, I am not really very sure, but I guess when you read the incident you will realize what it is that struck me and imprinted it on my memory. If you get it right, it means you know me well.
I have this Che Guevara bag, dirty green ('twas green but I guess over 2 years of abuse and not washing it has gotten dirty :D) and something I think is a style statement but most others think makes me look like a beggary scholar; I just love this bag since it is very nice and it is the only thing that I bought for myself from Europe. The bag's handle tore because I had overfilled it with some weird stuff and I was looking desperately looking for someone in my area to repair it for me. But I could not find anyone to repair it. So off I went to good old 4th block shopping complex to get it repaired.
There is this lady who has a small bag repair shop next to Raghavendra complex, just near the coffee day coffee pudi store. She has been around for a while and appa always says she is the best person to repair bags. I went along there and gave my bag.
Me: Swalpa bag repair maaDbeku. Urgent ittu
Lady: En aagide
Me: Handle kitthoytu, matte zipppu kittbandide
Lady: Torsi (she inspects it and says), naaLe banni saar, madhyana kodteeni
Me: naaLe sunday alva, tegdirteera?
Lady: Full week working saar, tumba kelasa ide, bengalurinda ella kade inda janaa bartaare, mg road, yeshwantpur ella kade inda bartaare, paapa allinda ella bandaaga naavu illa heLakke agalla alla, nanna maga oDi hoda, ee vayasallu ishtella kelasa maadbeku, en maaDodu.... naaLe banni saar bag kodteeni
Me: Aaytamma naaLe barteeni, naanu yaavagalu ille barodu, appa kooDa ille barodu
Lady: Gottu nanage neevu channagi, neevu chikkavaru aagiddaginda nodtaa ideeni.... nimma tande kooda gottu....
I went back the next day. The bag was well repaired, looked good as new and she charged me 25 rupees for it. Appa would have been scandalized by the amount but would have agreed as she does a good job. But the icing on the cake was that she found and returned a pair of headphones I had displaced and replaced. God bless her I thought, thanked her and walked away....
Some people I guess are genuinely good... and they restore the faith in goodness that most people make you lose so easily.
I have this Che Guevara bag, dirty green ('twas green but I guess over 2 years of abuse and not washing it has gotten dirty :D) and something I think is a style statement but most others think makes me look like a beggary scholar; I just love this bag since it is very nice and it is the only thing that I bought for myself from Europe. The bag's handle tore because I had overfilled it with some weird stuff and I was looking desperately looking for someone in my area to repair it for me. But I could not find anyone to repair it. So off I went to good old 4th block shopping complex to get it repaired.
There is this lady who has a small bag repair shop next to Raghavendra complex, just near the coffee day coffee pudi store. She has been around for a while and appa always says she is the best person to repair bags. I went along there and gave my bag.
Me: Swalpa bag repair maaDbeku. Urgent ittu
Lady: En aagide
Me: Handle kitthoytu, matte zipppu kittbandide
Lady: Torsi (she inspects it and says), naaLe banni saar, madhyana kodteeni
Me: naaLe sunday alva, tegdirteera?
Lady: Full week working saar, tumba kelasa ide, bengalurinda ella kade inda janaa bartaare, mg road, yeshwantpur ella kade inda bartaare, paapa allinda ella bandaaga naavu illa heLakke agalla alla, nanna maga oDi hoda, ee vayasallu ishtella kelasa maadbeku, en maaDodu.... naaLe banni saar bag kodteeni
Me: Aaytamma naaLe barteeni, naanu yaavagalu ille barodu, appa kooDa ille barodu
Lady: Gottu nanage neevu channagi, neevu chikkavaru aagiddaginda nodtaa ideeni.... nimma tande kooda gottu....
I went back the next day. The bag was well repaired, looked good as new and she charged me 25 rupees for it. Appa would have been scandalized by the amount but would have agreed as she does a good job. But the icing on the cake was that she found and returned a pair of headphones I had displaced and replaced. God bless her I thought, thanked her and walked away....
Some people I guess are genuinely good... and they restore the faith in goodness that most people make you lose so easily.
Monday, 1 June 2009
As of now
The last few weeks have been mixed. Apart from the fact that I have been able to undo some of the stupid things that I was doing in my personal life, all else is stifling the life out of me, because of the stillness of it all is making to very difficult to carry on; the stillness is on the following fronts:
1. The biz is going nowhere, there are clashing styles of working, not good enough business development activity, the clients are unresponsive, the cash is just not flowing, too much effort going into what seems to be a no return investment.... may be it is early days, may be there is a lot that will come together to completely make all the effort worth it, may be it is the darkest hour before dawn, may be it is just the damn timing... but the stillness is killing me. There is so much invested here, so much based on the fact that this will work, that this will be big and great, that there will be good work and better money and a thousand things planned and unplanned will happen based on this; the stillness shakes this very assumption, the assumption that this will work; it shakes it enough to scare the shit out of you, making you wonder if this was the right thing to do, if this is really you claim to fame, if this is really what it is all supposed to be! It is going to take every ounce of integrity and perseverance I have to keep this going, to do what it takes to ensure the assumption is correct. The stillness, I say again, is stifling!
2. Work is bad as usual. There is the usual boss issue and I cannot believe how dumb is he. But that will always be, it is no big deal and there is nothing much that I can do about it. But what worries me more is that the learning curve has stopped. Is it because that I want to stop learning all of this? Or it is because of the 18 month jinx I am hitting? May be it is time to look for a new role, inside or outside, or may be it is time to just say listen, some more time and this will be better and the learning will start; I don't know and I don't know if there is an answer at all! It is going to take a lot to do a good job of what I am doing and that my man is not an easy job! The stillness is in fact annoying here.
Why am I so obsessed that I need to keep moving all the time? Why is it that I cannot accept routine and boredom and not getting ahead somewhere? Is it the intelligence, is it that fact that I think too much or is it that I have a restless mind, which constantly seeks, explores, learns, assimilates, I don't know; I wish I knew. I also want to know is this restlessness good or bad. Is ambition I had suddenly lost and which is back strongly, good or bad? Was the ambition-less stage better, more fulfilling? I don't know, there are just too many questions and too few answers and in the midst of all this, to keep doing well what you need to do is going to massive strength and will power! I hope I have them both!
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