Someone called today. This someone had once inspired a post by me earlier in this blog.
I thought I had gotten over it, that I had pushed the pain away, and cleansed my soul of the hurt to be a free-er individual. I dread the further encounters. One part of me says I am so glad it is still important and that the relationship matters and that the old ties are renewed. But I know that the niceties and fun and laughter is not permanent, it will disappear as though it never was. And it leaves me hurting, fuming, broken (well may be not, broken is a strong word) and sore all over again and just when I am about to heal, the call and the meeting happens again.
I know I should expect less, but that does not happen. Some things are just fixed, they really can’t be changed. It just won’t be the same if you change what the person is to you. It is different, to put the person in a new role in your life, even if you know that the current role was not meant to be. It is not a position or a responsibility in a company right, it is about emotion, about people and the way you feel for them.
I have tried and God knows I have tried to heal, but no avail. The hurt just does not go. I guess they sometimes just don’t heal :(
I thought I had gotten over it, that I had pushed the pain away, and cleansed my soul of the hurt to be a free-er individual. I dread the further encounters. One part of me says I am so glad it is still important and that the relationship matters and that the old ties are renewed. But I know that the niceties and fun and laughter is not permanent, it will disappear as though it never was. And it leaves me hurting, fuming, broken (well may be not, broken is a strong word) and sore all over again and just when I am about to heal, the call and the meeting happens again.
I know I should expect less, but that does not happen. Some things are just fixed, they really can’t be changed. It just won’t be the same if you change what the person is to you. It is different, to put the person in a new role in your life, even if you know that the current role was not meant to be. It is not a position or a responsibility in a company right, it is about emotion, about people and the way you feel for them.
I have tried and God knows I have tried to heal, but no avail. The hurt just does not go. I guess they sometimes just don’t heal :(
1 comment:
Awwww there there baby. What happened? This post was shooo sad. I could weep. No no. You're Swaroopa. Always happy Swaroopa
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