Selling Out

I keep saying people sold out for money, careers and all that.


Sometimes I wonder if I sold out for happiness and peace :)

They just dont heal

Someone called today. This someone had once inspired a post by me earlier in this blog.

I thought I had gotten over it, that I had pushed the pain away, and cleansed my soul of the hurt to be a free-er individual. I dread the further encounters. One part of me says I am so glad it is still important and that the relationship matters and that the old ties are renewed. But I know that the niceties and fun and laughter is not permanent, it will disappear as though it never was. And it leaves me hurting, fuming, broken (well may be not, broken is a strong word) and sore all over again and just when I am about to heal, the call and the meeting happens again.

I know I should expect less, but that does not happen. Some things are just fixed, they really can’t be changed. It just won’t be the same if you change what the person is to you. It is different, to put the person in a new role in your life, even if you know that the current role was not meant to be. It is not a position or a responsibility in a company right, it is about emotion, about people and the way you feel for them.

I have tried and God knows I have tried to heal, but no avail. The hurt just does not go. I guess they sometimes just don’t heal :(

'Mad'rid

There is no particular reason why this post is inspired and it was just one of those days when somethings just enter your mind and refuse to go away.

I remember walking down the streets of Madrid and I saw this picture perfect couple. And they were breaking up. The girl walked off and it chilled me to the bone when I saw the pain on the guy's face. May God not give anyone such pain!

Scary

As usual I was driving home through Koramangala. The traffic was heavy and I wanted to get home as soon as possible, it had been a long tiring day. So had been the immortal Scorpio guy's day. It was a sharp turn and I "nugged". And his mammoth machine scratched my little baby.

But you see it is just a car, so I drove off, without even wanting to wait. But he kept following me, and ensured finally that I parked. I got off apologized and he took my license number phone number and name and told me he will take care of me.

Yeah it was partly my fault as well, but I honked and he did not hear it. I even apologized and offered to pay for the damages. But what scares me is the fact that he was so angry. There is so much angst and hatred and frustration that it shows up this way, you flare up for so many small things. It is not only dangerous to the person, but also to people around him/ her.

It comes from bad lifestyle, excessive work, estranged relationships and what not! But it is scary where we are headed as a society if such anger can be provoked, for such simple reasons. After all, it is just a car that got scratched!

Ambition

I lost it in the middle and was sort of settling into a life without one when all of a sudden i find that it is in something so material :)

Yeah, 203 it is :)

Effort - Result syndrome!

Too much work are happening! But the results are not proportionate.

I have been busy like mad for a like a long time now, may be 3-4 weeks. I have been on two trips, one to a nice JLR resort and the other to the ever lovely Ooty.

And I got my new chevy Spark! Nice and red and lovely. And that unknown RJ from Radio Single told me I should call my car Minisha! Bah! Whattay name for such a nice car! It is a nice handling beauty and I just hope the mileage improves. And now that I can plug in my music player and have some of my most favouritest music on cds. So now full hip-hop drives only through the city. Btw, the beauty drives well even at 140 :) and that is something I just love!

There there, there I drift again.

After some 4 weeks of sustained effort on all fronts, I got very fidgety last weekend. So much that I became quiet and all! And disturbed and got into my shell where I appear like I am happy and mad, but inside is like the churning of the violent sea hitting hard on a rocky cliff in Norway :)

And then the long walk with VeeDee happened! Walking around Jayanagar, eating hasarebele masala and peanut masala, drinking kaapi in daily bread but more importantly walking around for 2 hours and clearing up your head helped. Patience dawned again and may be, for greater gains, it takes more time and even greater patience.

P.S. Blasting muzzy is so much fun!

It is such a lovely day

Awesome day it is :)
Skipped the gym for my body was so sore and I did not go.
Then I called pranks and kajus and had such a ball talking
And then I listened to some awesome songs on radio
And I dont believe that there are so many nice kannada songs :)
So work is going on :)

and you can see the general upbeat mood with all the smileys